6 Ways to Build a Deeper Relationship With Your Partner

We all want to build deeper connections with the ones we love. Unfortunately sometimes getting the tools and putting in the work to grow these rich long-term healthy relationships can be a huge obstacle in getting what we want.

Work Towards Building Emotional Intimacy

It all starts here. Your ability to build emotionally intimate relationships can determine how deeply you will grow with your partner. 

According to Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist in New York City and faculty member in Columbia University’s clinical psychology Ph.D. program, emotional intimacy is defined by how much you allow yourself to open up with your significant other through actions that express genuine feelings, vulnerabilities and trust. This means sharing secrets, having open communication in relationships and sharing your love without the fear of judgment. 

We need to feel safe and secure in a relationship because intimacy and closeness cannot grow without it. However, without taking the first step and committing to emotional intimacy, it’s nearly impossible to get past the initial stages of a relationship.

Be Mindfully Vulnerable to Establish Trust in Your Relationship

We cannot control how others express their vulnerability, but we can control how we express ours. 

Even if we’ve spent an enormous amount of time with someone, it’s sometimes difficult to break down our personal walls. On the opposite end, sometimes we yearn for deeper connections that we serve our heart to anyone who will take it. Though you cannot force someone to become vulnerable, you can take that first step in opening up to your partner --- but only when you feel ready to do so. 

When and how you share your personal life, secrets or feelings are completely up to you. Trust yourself and in turn, you can begin building trust in your relationship.

Find Yourself so You Can Find Each Other

It’s hard to expect your partner to know what you want if you aren’t able to communicate it yourself. In finding yourself and identifying your own needs or desires, you can better understand each other. 

Couples counselling can help you find each other and a deeper connection to yourself. Part of this therapy is locating stuck points in your long-term relationship by discussing the relationship as a whole in addition to you and your partner as individuals. In the initial stages of couples therapy, partners may participate in individual sessions to express their point-of-view and identity to better ground themselves on the journey to building a stronger bond with their spouse and inner self. 

Working with a therapist or taking time to truly understand yourself as an individual can strengthen your relationships as you dive deeper. 

Give Your Partner Compliments and Daily Affirmations

It’s not easy being vulnerable, make sure to show your partner you appreciate their progress and cherish how far they’ve come. 

It may seem small but these gestures show that you care and have taken on an active role in your long-term relationship. Specific compliments validate how much you have grown together and will remind you why this person is special. You never want your partner to feel invisible because you forgot to share your appreciation or vice versa.

Routines are Great but Spontaneity Can Keep the Spark alive

With how busy life gets, it’s easy to hit a relationship comfort zone plateau where we get stuck just going through the motions. Don’t let this be you.

Oftentimes, couples will think their relationship is broken because their routines create complacency with decreased effort in trying to impress and trying to spark joy and vulnerability in the other person. But that’s not enough to understand each other on a deeper level. It is incredibly important that we make time for each other in a more profound way than just the occasional dinner or bedtime together.

Relationships evolve all the time and even after five, ten, or fifty years together, there is still a lot to explore in your partner.

Be Present

How you make time to actively build memories and be with your partner (without looking at your phone) is incredibly important. Express interest, make eye contact and focus on who you’re with and what they’re saying. 

If you are having disagreements, make sure to hear your partner’s concerns before jumping to make yours. If you are having a special evening, make sure to be in the moment and not live through your camera lens. When we have these unconscious barriers that limit how fully we are listening and experiencing life with our partner, it’s hard to appreciate how significant our relationship is. 

If you’re not present to experience love, you might miss out on the best parts of being in it.

Making Your Relationship Last

Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nurture and grow. Implementing these strategies shows the intention to make your long-term relationship, marriage, or partnership last. 

It’s not always easy building deeper connections, but putting in the work and acknowledging mutual growth when you try can be truly rewarding. Even if you are finding trouble diving deeper with each other, there is always help to guide you through the process.

Build Deeper Connections With Your Partner Today

Take the next step in your long-term relationship with the help of professional couples therapists. Seeking relationship counselling has been shown to help numerous couples build richer long-term connections.  The Love of Attraction couple’s counselling sessions with registered psychotherapist Kathleen Maiman can help you feel heard, supported and move towards lasting collaboration in your relationship.

Check out our website to find out more about our broad range of couples therapy and counselling services today.