Staying Connected with Your Partner When Life Gets Busy

(Adapted from Stan Tatkin)

Summer is over, and it’s back to the regular routines. This can mean scrambling to get out the door in the morning. Heavier traffic with longer times to get where you need to. Juggling kids activities including getting their homework done. Doing things at the same time, like multitasking while making dinner. Life can certainly get busy with the change of season.  During these hectic times, it’s especially important to stay connected to your partner and experience the connection between you. We suggest staying connected throughout your busy day-to-day life by creating rituals you and your partner can do together throughout the day.

“In the course of daily life, romantic relationships tend to pivot around separations and reunions. How you handle these transitions can have a big impact on your relationship! The rituals for connection can give a sense of stability, predictability, and purpose in these hectic times.

For example, in the morning when you wake up, spend a minute gazing into your partner’s eyes before you start your day.

When leaving for the day, say “Goodbye” in a heartfelt way. This may include: “I love you”, a hug and a kiss or “You mean a lot to me, and I look forward to seeing you tonight”.

In the evening, after a long day, do the “Welcome Home” reunion ritual: When one of you comes home, the other partner puts aside whatever he or she is doing and takes the time to fully greet the returning person. Look into each other’s eyes, embrace, and don’t let go until you feel the other fully relax.

Fun bedtime rituals include reading to each other, telling each other the story of your day, or sharing daily gratitude. These are things we often do with our children and as adults, we need them to.

These rituals may take only a few minutes…How long? Maybe a minimum of 10 minutes in total.

They can reinforce your sense of feeling connected to your partner, especially when life gets busy.