Purpose of Relationships


There is a hidden agenda to relationships. Consciously we may choose our partner because they are attractive, have a solid career and a nice family. However, unconsciously we have selected a partner that resembles our caregivers and has all the potential to help us work through our unresolved issues. When the old feelings of pain, frustration and anger arise as conflict in our adult relationships, we may think that that there is something wrong. What is often misunderstood and underestimated in most couplehoods is that the hypersensitivities and vulnerabilities we experience, often originate from wounding relationships with significant people in our past.

The counter-productive methods of clinging, stonewalling, withdrawing, defending, nagging, hiding, criticizing and blaming are strategies that we employ to protest the feeling of disconnection. The result, however, is even more disconnection.

There is hope.

With the aid of our partner, the one who has re-triggered those original wounds, we can become aware of the incredible opportunity for our mutual healing and growth. Sharing our personal needs, wishes, desires and fears in a calm respectful conversation, will ignite a feeling of safety. Becoming emotionally present to one another can often allow those old vulnerabilities and sensitivities to be healed. Therefore, having more awareness of our unconscious material (the past memories that are being activated today) can help us live more fully in the present moment. Therein lies the REAL joy of reclaiming our true nature and a loving connection with ourself and our partner.

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