Conscious Couples Appreciate and Give Gratitude to One Another Daily
In any relationship, there are many things to be grateful for about your partner and the relationship. Taking the time to acknowledge and declare to one another is a necessary step in cultivating a place of appreciation and gratitude. Conscious couples do this regularly to maintain and sustain their vitality and aliveness.
As we have passed by the festive time of Thanksgiving aka “Giving of Thanks” – I am reminded of Gratitude, the Mother of All Emotions. Why is gratitude the mother of all emotions? It is because with Gratitude, we experience, joy, our heart connection with another. Furthermore, feelings of gratitude directly activate brain regions associated with the neurotransmitter dopamine.
Dopamine feels good to get, which is why it’s generally considered the “reward” neurotransmitter.
Can Gratitude be a launch pad for the heart connection we so desire in our primary relationships? Expressing gratitude to a relationship partner has been positively associated with enhancing the expresser’s perception of the communal strength of the relationship. Being openly grateful for a relationship increases the motivation to respond to the partner’s needs and allows room to address any issues negatively affecting the relationship while framing the relationship in a positive light, therefore providing a route to strengthening the relationship even further.
And can we cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude to help foster and enhance our joyful aliveness and connection? Having a grateful heart for your partnership and your partner can make all the difference. Let us first explore think about the opposite of gratitude in relationships.
When we are not in gratitude, we are wanting, longing, expecting, feeling disappointed, unloved and unlovable, unsatisfied, undervalued and underappreciated and perhaps resentful. We want something from our partner and our partner is not giving it to us! A soft look, a kind word, a gentle gesture, a shoulder to lean on, a cuddle, an appreciation or perhaps a helping hand around the house is the thing that we are focused on and hence not receiving. Feelings of hopelessness & despair arise and then we might react with withdrawal, attacking, retreating, and being demanding or critical. This certainly isn’t going to ‘woo’ our partner into giving us our deepest desires. Is there something we can do to offset these painful, exhaustive states of existence? Yes, being grateful for what you have and expressing it! Simple, yet sometimes a challenge, this way of relating can begin to pave the way for a positive change.
So, how do we cultivate this attitude of gratitude and save our precious relationships?
First we have to see that we aren’t in gratitude. Become conscious of this and about yourself in relationship. This is the first step on the journey of becoming grateful. What is your inner truth about yourself? Are you taking your partner for granted? Are you complaining either inwardly or outwardly about all the things that you aren’t receiving in your relationship? In this place, we aren’t grateful for what we have, we are focusing on what we are not having, ie lack of something. By first seeing the truth of this inner reality, we will slowly be set free from this reality, which can catapult us into another state. How often is your wanting and longing, seeing the lack of something in your life and relationships taking a primary seat versus seeing what your partner is already doing for you?
The second is to begin acknowledging, sharing and declaring your gratitude. By beginning with gratitude, this will lead you further into constructive words, thoughts and deeds and a desired connection. By doing this, you will become focused in your life in a positive way and things will begin to fall in place. So, let’s take you through the various levels of gratitude.
First, think what your partner has gone through in order to put forth his/her effort in your life – be it big or small.
2nd level: Inside, feel what he/she has done for you….be it big or small.
3rd level: Express yourself to your partner. Declare to him/her how you have benefited from their hard work and effort– “Your effort is so beneficial to me….”
“Feeling Gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
William Arthur Ward
4th level: Now you want to do something for your partner. You are ready to move into action and do something for your partner! At this time, you may waiting to see what he/she needs or wait for them to ask you for something.
5th level: You can’t even wait, you go all out and do something for your partner’s sake….feeling their need and doing whatever they need without asking.
At this level, you are growing enormously inside! Your heart expands and you have impacted the other on a deep level. From this place, there is a recognized feeling of joy and aliveness and it is much easier to handle life situations!
So, folks, get on the ocean of gratitude. Take this Pearl of Wisdom from all the ancient teachings! – See and feel what your partner has done for you, acknowledge how much effort and time it took for them to do the things they do. Praise your partner (don’t we all love praise?) and let them know what they did benefitted you. Take it the next level and respond to them from this space of gratitude by attending to their needs and lastly – don’t wait for them to tell you what they need, be attuned and just do it!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and spreading the Attitude of Gratitude in all your relationships!