Highlights from the Imago Relationship International 2008 Conference
ELIMINATING ALL NEGATIVITY
Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt (co-founders of Imago Relationship Therapy) recently highlighted the importance of the NON-NEGOTIABLE core decision of removing all negativity from relationships in order for connection to be maintained at the International conference in Portland, Oregon. They insist that to achieve emotional safety in relationship and not activate the reptilian brain (the oldest part of the brain), that all negativity including criticism be removed. Couples are encouraged to commit to this process of ZERO negativity which includes softening the tone of voice and face when speaking and avoiding the discussion of negative thoughts. Negativity develops the release of cortisol and if chronic, it can keep us in a state of cortisol highs which lowers our immune system. Harville stated that we are killing each other with negativity. Without negativity, we can feel safe in relationship, anxiety is reduced and the child within us can come out and play.
Doesn’t that sound like a better way to live in relationship?